It’s 5:30 AM, and this…could be a terrible blog post.

I’m really not a person to wake up in the middle of the night. Nor am I the person who wakes up every hour, on the hour. Nor am I the person who decides that 5 AM is as good time as any to wake up for a full day of work…and write a personal blog post.

But that’s what you do sometimes. When you know your brain is rattling, and if you don’t get thoughts out, that it might actually be bad for your health. This doesn’t happen often, it’s not a stroke of genius, by any means — but you can’t ignore it. At least, I feel like I can’t.

So I’ll put myself on a time constraint because after this, I actually have to get ready for work.

Work.

It’s been my life lately (sort of). Transitioning back to full time work hasn’t been difficult in the sense that I feel like I’m drowning…it’s just been difficult. When you’ve become used to a certain lifestyle (or developed a habit), other things fall to the wayside. For me, it’s been my creative hobbies…such as your writing. It’s been difficult in the sense that I don’t feel compelled, or even inspired to write anything. Because the majority of my work is writing, I feel burnt out by the time I get home (and that’s on a good day). I feel the same way about social media. You guys know that I have my reservations, but I love social media. It’s also been part of my professional work for…forever. Lately, it’s also fallen to the wayside. I’ll get on here and there, but it’s no longer this priority? (I’ve even turned off Notifications because I feel so indifferent about it.) And while that may sound like a good thing to you… it’s been ingrained in me for so long. When I feel like it’s leaving my person/habits, I FEEL LIKE IT’S NOT ME. I’m asking myself, “WHO AM I?” Does that make sense? It sounds so silly… I promise this has a[n] good ending.

So, then we watched this video (below) at my work’s weekly team meeting. Andrew Stanton, for those of you who do not know, worked on films such as John Carter, Finding Nemo…Wall-E…Toy Story — ever heard of those?

I took notes that reside on my desk now:

“Make me care. Life is NOT static. Stories are inevitable, not predictable. WONDER. Send jokes to Andy.”

— the last bit was a reminder for myself.

Sometimes, I forget about TED talks. Most times, it’s because I’m watching dumb YouTube content like “You Suck At Cooking,” which isn’t actually dumb…it’s actually very creative. ANYHOW, this video struck me like a chord.

1. b/c it’s Andrew Stanton. Anyone from Pixar, really. You know it’s going to be good
2. “Make me care” is what anyone aspires to do when they’re telling a story, right? It sounds so obvious…but not until someone else points it out is when you feel like they’ve told you some sort of secret
3. Life is not static. Are you kidding me, I literally have that written in my About Me section
4. WONDER. Everyone seeks that (conscious or not). I remember feeling that way when I first watched UP. Or when my brother tells me what he did at work. Or when my roommate tells the shit out of a work story. Or when my best friend tells me…anything.
5. The moments that he remembers, bringing him to where he stands today
6. Woof, he knows how to tell a good story. Amirite *sob*

All’s to say is that TED talk was what I needed (for now). A cup of refreshment. Something to lift my spirit, a break in the monotony, a note that says, “Keep going. Make me care.” We all strive for greatness, and as long as it finds you working — it will come.

I think, don’t quote me on that.