So I sit here again, at my computer with a cup of coffee. This is usually how it goes, we both know this by now.

What’s on my mind today? A lot of things. A lot of moving parts, a lot of flux – but again, we both should know this by now.

Here on Thu’s News, this just in: she has a new job. And typing this out gets me teary-eyed. (DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING.) Yes, I accepted a new job. Yes, I left what is “the dream job.” Yes, it was absolutely my choice. Why am I sad? Because I’m an emotion investor.

What does that f*cking mean? I made it up. It was “emotional investor” until about 2 seconds ago when I decided to delete that last bit. I invest in emotions, mostly my own (because I’m the proprietor of those said emotions). Or maybe I’m a broker. If I explain it, can someone tell me if I’m an investor or a broker?

In every job that I’ve ever had, I’ve invested quite a bit of emotion into it. Good and bad. Sadness and happiness. Everything in between. Whether it was in my actual day-to-day duties, clients or my teammates- emotion was poured into it. How much did I invest? Depends on the return, OBVIOUSLY. Teammates are probably the largest invested group. You see them (or communicate) with them for a large part of your day. If you’re lucky, your teammates are the ones that are in the trenches with you and can pick up slack. And if you’re super lucky, they’ll accept the GIFs you send them, play pranks and they’ll have a beer (or 5) with you…even if you’ve left that place of work.

WHICH IS WHEN THEY’VE BECOME YOUR FRIENDS, and that’s a whole ‘nother chunk of investment. Am I actually replacing the word ‘commitment’ with ‘investment’? idk

…Where am I going with this? I “had promise of high return,” and thus I invested a lot. Unlike a financial investment, these emotion investments came with strings (i.e. the feels), not just dollars. But like an investor, if something (logistically, and otherwise) comes your way- it’s advisable to invest (right?). It’s extremely conflicting, personally. I had a lot of emotion equity in my last job. Have you felt this way? Am I being too emotionally invested in a job? Probably. But maybe you get it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled about my new job. It’s overwhelming, it’s just the beginning and there are so many things for me to learn. But consider this is an ode to my old job, and the ones that preceded it. Because leaving a job is never easy. Even the ones I didn’t like, it was hard. Why? Let’s all recap: I’m an emotion investor, and I’ve been lucky enough to get the opportunity to invest my emotions so deeply. DAMN YOU ALL. You know who you are. Why can’t we all work in the same place, doing what we want, forever?

Oh yeah, because that’s not how Life likes to work.

We’re actually all emotion investors at our work, whether we see it or not. Think about it. Why would you stay? JUST ‘CAUSE THE DOLLA BILLS? No. Or maybe. I don’t know your life. BYE.