…And I’m not just thinking about aging looks and the inevitable stage of death.

I’m thinking about this other fact: I’m greedy with my time.

I use it up, I dilly dally, I waste it…and in the end, I even ask for more. I complain that there isn’t enough and wish that time was moving at my pace. This makes me sound selfish but I’m not going to deny it.

I ask for more and complain that there isn’t enough because yes, I waste time. With fixation, with distractions, with things and people who don’t embrace how vulnerable time can be. I ask for more because I think I entitled to unlimited time but I’m not. Time is a gift, we get just the right amount, and the challenge is using up that time in the best way possible. It’s hard to believe that I’m not guaranteed my next birthday, next Thanksgiving, or even tomorrow.

Through recent events both internally and externally in my life, what I’m learning is that time doesn’t stop. Wow, I know that sounds dumb and obvious. Of course it doesn’t stop, it keeps moving. Duh. But really, there are times I sit idly, static to my environment or I constantly wish that time stopped. For some reason, when I sit idly, I think that my situation will change (spoiler alert: you must do something to change your situation). I wish that time stopped in good times because I’m afraid that I won’t have that moment again. I wish that time stopped in lesser good times because I’m afraid that it could get worse. I am fickle, time is not.

Also, time moves at incredibly inconvenient pace. In this world of instantaneous gratification, getting whatever you want whenever you want, it seems normal to demand your own pace. But not for time. Time says this, “you are on my damn schedule, deal with it.” A handful of friends and acquaintances are going through heart break or something along the lines, and the only thing I can tell them is that time will heal. Fact. Sometimes our situation needs time. Sometimes it’s the only thing for our situation and to many (including myself), this is bad news. I wish that it was on my time, moving at my pace. This is the harsh reality: time doesn’t move for us. It will move, but it definitely tests our patience.

With all of that said, I believe that sometimes time is wasted but warranted. We need a break because we are only human and we need that air so we can continue to do great things. We can’t be “on” all of the time. But be wise, spend time like money, because in most all instances, time is more valuable.

I’ll leave you with all of this heaviness with this quote: “Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running but life is a stroll.”