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It pains my heart to write this.
I stared at the screen for nearly 20 minutes before I actually processed it,
then the emotions came and then the tears followed soon after.

TL;DR: I didn’t get it. I was rejected by Pixar today with an automated e-mail. And yes, I’m shattered.

I will also go ahead and apologize to some of the people I haven’t told personally but probably should have told personally. My heart can’t handle it, and for some reason posting it publicly makes it easier. I think because I can’t handle each separate reaction, whatever they may be. I know I will get pity, I will get empathy, I will get shock, and everything in between.

Right now, I just can’t handle it. Because I’ll hear and read everything that is being said, and none of it is going to register with me quite yet. All I can handle for now is letting y’all know, because I feel like I owe y’all for following me with all of my updates. It’s kind of like closure and me saying thanks again.

Here is my public request for sad songs. I prefer them to be sent on Spotify, but post them anywhere if you feel compelled.

I’m going to feel sad about it, and I don’t feel like I have to justify it. I was aware of my chances, but it doesn’t diminish the fact that I was rejected.

Sometime down the road, I may retitle this as “Semi-final Pixar Update,” because Pixar, this isn’t the last you’ll hear of me. Count on that.

As the Vlog Brothers say, as Caroline reminded me: DFTBA. Don’t Forget To Be Awesome.

Thu

Sidebar: I think they are hearing me, listening to me- what are the chances that I write a blog post and they e-mail me the next day?

 

comment

I received this comment 2 days ago on my most recent Pixar Update post. It’s been about a month and a half in the process, a week since last week’s post, and yes I am still waiting. Sidebar: Thank you for your support Jane; I feel like the whole universe is rooting for me.

Coincidentally after I published that Pixar Update, 2 days later I received an email from a Pixar recruiter that I reached out to a week before. (Maybe they did hear me…Pixar is mysterious) She isn’t a part of University Relations, but she told me she sent my information to them and that they’ll be making final decisions in the next few weeks. She sent me this email 7 days ago. And then after I got that email, my application was finally looked at.

Screen Shot 2014-04-16 at 4.45.49 PM

What does this mean? I don’t really know…

WELL, WHAT’S THE HOLD UP PIXAR?

If I published this and got a response back [like today, now, in 1 minute], I’d like to think I’d be okay with the answer. This whole month and a half, I’ve been teetering between “I have a chance” and “I probably blew it.” Only one thing can resolve this indecisive feeling, and there’s a chance that it’s going to be automated. (Can you tell that my optimism is slowly dwindling, and that I’m currently leaning toward “I probably blew it?”)

This month and a half as I teeter between these two extreme thoughts, I’ve also been fluffing my pillows (metaphorically speaking). Just in case I fall off the Pixar platform, I need a soft place to land. I have a track record of optimism that can be incomparable to the majority, and it’s difficult to bounce back from. I’m a dreamer and this time, I went after a big one.

But speaking of dreams, I’ve gone after some pretty big ones, some that didn’t come true the first time around. No matter, I kept going for it, and my dreams eventually came true (i.e. getting accepted in the best university IN THE WORLD). I don’t regret any of the rejections and my journey for a second. Sure, I missed some UT freshman traditions, but I created memories on the journey to become a longhorn, as a longhorn, and still do as I’m on the cusp of graduation. Memories that I know would be drastically different had I became a longhorn right off the bat.

But back to Pixar, back to dreams, I’m not sure where I stand or if my dream will come true in the next few weeks. The outcome, no matter what it is, I’m preparing by telling myself to keep moving forward (which is actually something my friend John B once told me after I had gotten one of my first rejections). These are the pillows I fall on, along with the unmeasurable amounts of encouragement that even strangers, like Jane, give me.

Pixar will still be my dream, it still is my dream, but somewhere in the dreamsphere, it might not be my time (yet)**.

**emphasis on “yet”

Adventurously Yours,

Thu

 
PS: I don’t know if my analogies actually make sense, let me know maybe?

Hold on to the edge of your seats, but if you read the title, it’s possible that you’ve already stopped reading. If you’re still in this, thank you. I really do mean it, even if you’ve heard me say ‘thank you’ a zillion times.

Segue into gratitude- I want to put this out there now and forever: Thank you. The support that I’ve been blessed with is unfathomable. When I first published my Open Letter, my feelings would be something along the lines of “a mess.” I was a mess because there were all of these people who wanted to help me, wanted to share my story, wanted to feel hope with me. At one point, I started tearing up in class (sry profs I was still totally paying attention).

The expectation I had before I posted that Open Letter was pretty much zero. I am still a bit of mess, not only because I’m in my 20’s, but because I still do not know where I stand.

Here are the [rough] statistics of my “Be Remarkable” campaign thus far:

  • 3,500+ Views to my blog post
  • 2,000+ Unique Visitors
  • 100+ FB Likes
  • 37 FB shares from my link
  • 30 upvotes on Pixar’s sub-Reddit
  • 28 Pixar Marketing Professionals that I looked up on LinkedIn
  • 25+ Sincere, endearing FB comments
  • 10 industry professionals; 4 who have/had some sort of connection to Pixar
  • 9 Tweets to industry professionals and Pixar employees
  • 5 FB messages from people I hadn’t talked to/haven’t talked to
  • 1 WordPress Reblog
  • X Retweets and/or Favorites*
  • X FB shares from links that linked my link (people I didn’t even know shared my link!)
  • Infinity support and gratitude

And as I mentioned in the title: Nothing yet. As a soon-to-be graduating senior**, this is scary. At this point, I just want to know if I even remotely have a chance (and I shared this with some of the Pixar recruiters I emailed).

Do I move on?
Can I move on?
Should I move on?

*X = a variable; not sure how many
**anyone who goes for their dream, really

Two weeks ago, I applied for a marketing intern position at Pixar Animation Studios. Working at Pixar has been a dream of mine for a while. I once told Caroline that I would be a janitor if that meant I would be around those talented Pixar people. I still feel that way, but working on the Marketing team is more ideal.

What are my chances? One thousand to one, but since I applied, I concocted a plan that I call the “Be Remarkable” campaign. I refuse to be rejected by an automated email, so I decided to go the extra mile in hopes for at least a personal [rejection] email (worse-case scenario). A part of my campaign is this open letter to the Pixar Marketing team.

To readers, friends, and/or family: If this is worth sharing, please share. I’m hoping that this post gets to someone at Pixar, somehow, in the digital sphere.

Dear Pixar Marketing Team,

My name is Thu Nguyen, I’m currently a senior at the University of Texas at Austin and a hopeful Marketing Intern candidate for Summer 2014. But you may already know that… if my CL and resume passed the application process anyway. If it didn’t, please give me a chance to convince you to reconsider.

A couple of days after I found out about the position, I brainstormed ideas. I wanted to create something that would catch your attention while staying true to the Pixar brand. One of my professors likes to remind us, “shop the world, steal from the best,” and that’s kind of what I did.

Taking Seth Godin’s sentiment to “be remarkable,” and the Wilderness Explorer sash from UP, I created this:
onetwothreePixar.jpg

Each set of badges represent my merits personally, professionally, and educationally. In addition, I made a Wilderness Explorer Handbook that explains how I earned each badge.
wilderness explorer handbook

Following the movie, I’m missing a badge that would “complete my Wilderness Explorer training.” Fittingly, it’s a badge that I call the Pixar Badge. How do I earn it? By successfully obtaining a Marketing Intern position.

Timothy Z at Pixar Animation Studios, it should be coming to the office today!

It’s a long shot, I get that. But I decided that I wouldn’t go without making my mark. I decided to take a chance because this is my dream. And if it’s not my time, it’s not my time. Like Dory, I’ll just keep swimming.

Adventurously Yours,
Thu

P.S. If you would like to see my entire creative process of creating the sash with pictures of all the components in detail, you can click here.