A Fork in the Road

So, I work two part-time jobs. I barista and I intern at a marketing agency. I’m your basic, typical “post-grad-20-something-year-old.” *waving hand emoji*

I’m lost, I’m broken and I don’t have direction. I’m standing at a fork in the road, and I have no idea which path to go down. I’ve talked to friends and family. At the end of the day, it’s up to me.

Damn it.

So, naturally I’m blogging about it (re: typical “post-grad-20-something-year-old”). I know I’m not the only one, I work with other baristas who struggle with similar to identical dilemmas. They are in transition, working and trying to figure out where they want to go after this. Recently, I’ve been gaining more responsibility in both respective jobs. I’ve been learning more about my performance and more about my own work ethic. How does this help me go down a career path? Strangely, it doesn’t. Or maybe I’m not paying attention. I’ve talked to one of my bosses about my concern. My concern that I’m familiar with a lot of skills, however, not an expert in one or two. Specialization, that’s what the Industrial Revolution was all about, wasn’t it?

Has the status quo changed? I shouldn’t even be concerned with the status quo. Yet here I am, thinking to myself, “What am I supposed to be doing?” I’m thinking to myself, “There must be an answer (and someone else knows it, if I don’t).” This is when the left side of my brain kicks in, the logic…however illogical it actually is. A question is proposed and there should be an answer. Should. Right?

A part of me knows the answer to that question: it’s a fat “no.” The answer is my own damn answer, whatever I choose. But there is so much weight that comes with it that I can’t bear to stick to one answer. I’m noncommittal. It’s something I’m trying to fix, and I’m not given the proper time…and unfortunately time stops nor pauses for no one.

So I come to this fork in the road, and I have these paths to choose from: Do I want to pursue more agency experience in content marketing? Do I want to go back and see if I want to do client services in another setting? Do I want to start at square -1 and pursue design? Or do put all of my time and heart into propelling the coffee shop that I work at (in addition to succeeding in latte art)? These are all real questions.
I’m not bullshitting and hiding behind vagueness, not today.

What do I do? I’m at a fork in this weird, weird road.

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