A101: Don’t “fake it ’til you make it”, “fake it ’til you become it”

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A101 (def): Tips on life taught by yours truly in hopes that maybe you can relate, share your story with me, and take something away from this. Not that I think I have some sort of God-given right to do so… I’m just hoping someone can relate and feel less alone in whatever situation they may be in. It really is a dream of mine to teach a class called “A101.” Ask Hannah.

I say “fake it ’til you make it” all of the time, but now I know that I’m wrong.

What? I’m wrong about something? That’s a first.

Just kidding, I’m only human. Humans can be wrong (even me). I do say “fake it ’til you make it” a lot though and here’s why: mostly because I like to kid around, but I did feel this strong belief toward it. Now I’m not advocating being a fake by any means but I think that sometimes we are our own person to our fullest potential…behind closed doors… or in the comfort of our home… or just around our friends. We only reveal our best selves in front of people we feel comfortable around and to everyone else we fake being a person of lesser potential…I do it sometimes. I do it a lot when I feel intimidated- like in an interview or talking to a professor, even when I meet new people.

When I evaluate myself after an interview, I sometimes think, “Man, I didn’t get to say _____ because I was feeling so nervous and now they won’t know I’m amazing and I deserve this job.” I am sure that I am not alone feeling this. It’s that post-first-impression-dissonance-type feeling. You wish you could take that moment back, rewind, and do it again. There’s a french word that I read in Seth Godin’s Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? that describes the feeling you get when you come up with something clever but only after the fact. (I obviously haven’t learn my lesson to write things down.)

Then I watched this: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

Here’s the thing: I love nonverbals and this video is all about that. I love reading them, I love learning about them, I basically geeked out the whole time I was watching this. If you have 20 minutes of free time and if you’re reading my blog, you do, watch it! Nonverbals matter. When Amy Cuddy mentioned “Fake it ’til you make it,” that only furthered my geeking out. But I also had a realization and came to agree with her when she said, “you shouldn’t fake it ’til you make it…you fake it ’til you become it.”

Now what I think she meant by this is what I was talking about above. We are incredible human beings but for some reason cower in these “low power positions” when we should really be posing like Wonder Woman, defeating job interviews and social situations with our best selves (you kind of have to watch the video to know what this means…). Study shows people who did these “high power poses” were willing to take more risks, had more testosterone, and less cortisol (stress hormone). Fake it ’til you become your best self, because when we do that, we are present, we are authentic, etc. Next time I go into a job interview, I will be doing the Wonder Woman pose in the bathroom so don’t be taken aback if you see me!

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Found this on my jog on Saturday | What’s stopping you?

Seriously, watch the video, it’s fascinating.

 

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3 comments
  1. namkalb said:

    Didn’t watch the video but will comment on being a chameleon for certain situations like job interviews.You are trying to impress the employer to get the position. When you find your true self your sincerity never leaves you. Will check out video later. Peace and Blessings to you.

  2. i listened to that podcast just the other day! that was a really good talk. I recognized that reference right off the bat!

  3. Jacks said:

    So I was reading this post, and funny because I hear this saying more than ever around the office! It’s such a good and bad thing to say but I get the context that it’s used in. I always come home feeling like I should’ve done this, and thinking to myself “way to make things awkward…!” Like you said, the culprit is intimidation. It changes us into awkward people and our words can come out ALL wrong and not like it was planned in our kinds. Then afterwards we question ourselves “wth why did you make that more awkward than it had to be?!” Haha I feel ya, it does take me awhile to get comfortable in my little shoes especially in the presence of these big corporate shoes.

    This is pre-video watching, I’m going to watch now 🙂

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